![]() When it happens to you, Samantha, it'll be forever. When you're given things kind of easily, you don't always appreciate them. Jim Baker: Well, let me tell you something about Ginny. Samantha: But if I were Ginny, I'd have this guy crawling on his knees. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else. Jim Baker: That's why they call them crushes. And if this guy can't see in you all the beautiful and wonderful things that I see, then he's got the problem. Jim Baker: Well, if it's any consolation, I love you. Jim Baker: Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I'm just this ridiculous dork that's following him around like a puppy. Samantha: And he's got this incredible girlfriend. I like him a real lot, and he doesn't like me. Samantha: Jake is a senior, and he's beautiful and perfect. Jim Baker: I'm afraid you lost me again, Sam. Samantha: It's extremely embarrassing, okay? Jim Baker: What's embarrassing? Samantha: Sitting in the dark with your dad, telling him about your love life. Jim Baker: Forget what? Who's Jake? Samantha: He's a boy, Daddy. ![]() What's the matter? Samantha: I meant Jake. We're all upset that Ginny's marrying a bohunk. It has to do with a certain guy? I know, honey. Is something else wrong? Samantha: No, why? Jim Baker: I don't know, I just get the feeling that something's bothering you. And I just came down to tell you that we did remember. Jim Baker: This wedding is really turning this entire house inside out. I bet you're really P.O.'d, huh? Samantha: No, it's okay. Jim Baker: I was just upstairs, and I couldn't sleep. I mean, you could come back next Fall as a completely normal person. Samantha: But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they? The Geek: Yeah, but, the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipwads. ![]() that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk. The Geek: I know I came on kinda like a poser on the bus tonight and everything. The Geek: You're probably zoning in on my brain waves or something. Samantha: You know, just now I really felt how much you like me. Samantha: I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up. Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so perky. Grandpa Fred: I better go get my magnifying glass. Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me look at you. The Geek: You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile. The Geek: So, I mean, what's your story? I mean, you got a guy, or.? Samantha: Yes, three big ones, and they lust wimp blood, so quit bugging me or I'll sic them all over your weenie ass. Is there any thing wrong with me trying to put together some kind of relationship between us? Okay, look, I know you haven't been - just answer me one question. The Geek: Come on, what's the problem here? I'm a boy. You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you. Ginny: No, Sam, I think you're just being a little selfish and immature. Samantha: You know, everybody in this family has just gone totally Outer Limits. I think you're jealous that I'm getting married and that I'm getting all the attention. Ginny: Darling, is something bothering you? You're really acting like. Samantha: God, I hope whoever got the note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. Randy: He's ideal for sure, but, forget it. Randy: I'm sorry, but Jake Ryan? He's a senior, and he's taken. Samantha: Thank you, that's a very nice thing to say. Dorothy Baker: Now you listen to me, mister! God did not put me on this Earth to be awakened by filthy suggestions from a foul-mouthed hooligan like you! And as for our granddaughter, I'm sure she has more than enough sense to stay clear of the likes of you! Now goodnight and goodbye!ĭialogue Randy: Jake Ryan? He doesn't even know you exist.I mean, I've had men who've loved me before, but not for six months in a row. No more yanky my wanky The Donger need food!.Very nice! We're here five minutes, and I–! I'm at a loss!.Wease, we've got seventy dollars and a pair of girl's underpants.I live here my whole life and I'm like a disease. Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody.I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.
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